A Worthwhile Struggle

Comments: 114

Midwestern America is known for a lot of things, but y’know what it ISN’T known for? Metal music.

A lot of metalheads can probably relate to the feeling that most people dislike – or outright despise – the music we love so much. But as someone who’s been a full-time metal musician for a few years now, I think I’ve learned something truly special about the metal community that most people haven’t had the opportunity to discover, and I’d love to share it with you.

It started 13 years ago when I was nursing a few fresh bruises after yet another day of bullying at school. I remember the chill and the pain as I pressed a bag of ice to a fresh black eye, browsing then-brand-new Youtube, where I stumbled onto my first Nightwish song. From the very first note, that first syncopated punch of the drums and guitars and keyboard, I was hooked. 

I went careening down the metal rabbithole – Nightwish, Epica, Children of Bodom, Dragonforce – I loved it all! Something about having that amazing music blaring in my headphones all the time made the bullying at school more bearable.

It was empowering…but lonely. Metal as a whole was pretty unpopular with my peers, and these obscure European acts were even more unknown.

My solitary love for this music led me to pick up guitar in the hopes of learning to play some of these bands’ songs for myself, and I ended up getting my best friend Chris into guitar as well. Every weekend, when most other kids were out partying, he’d grab his guitar and we’d lock ourselves in my room to practice. It became our shared way of coping with all of our various anxieties…

…But literally the day after graduating from high school in 2010, Chris had to start working in a factory to take care of his siblings and his disabled parents. Despite 60-hour work weeks, he still came over to my house as often as possible so we could keep making music together. He felt that the band’s eventual success was his only conceivable way out of that factory – so he practiced guitar with all the fervor of someone fighting for their life.

In 2014, when Adrienne joined the band, it was at the darkest time in all of our lives. Chris had lost his house and spent the hottest months of summer living on the streets. I had developed an autoimmune disease that was becoming life-threatening. And worst of all, Adrienne’s boyfriend beat her to within an inch of her life, with every intention of killing her. She escaped with nothing but the clothes she was wearing.

I suggested she try singing as a way to cope with the PTSD that developed as a result of the incident, and she threw herself into it with more passion than I’ve ever seen from anyone, her only teacher being Youtube and sheer determination. Her voice conveyed so much pain, turning the horrors she had witnessed into something tragically beautiful that resonated perfectly with a lot of the music we’d written. And she even figured out how to growl, which added another dimension to the music I’d never thought about before. It was clear that Adrienne was the only person I could possibly ask to sing for Mute Prophet.

Our bassist Louisa joined up and completed the Mute Prophet lineup in 2018. She was a mutual friend of ours who endured a traumatic event of her own (though she’s less comfortable sharing the details than Adrienne is), and after seeing the incredible ways music had helped Adrienne recover, I figured, “why not teach her to play bass?” I mentioned that if she enjoyed it and got good enough, she was more than welcome to join the band.

And now, here we are. 

It’s not an understatement to say that this band saved our lives. Singing pulled Adrienne back from the brink of suicide. Chris is now free of his family, happily married with a son of his own! And while I have no idea how this is possible, it seems that as long as I play guitar frequently, my chronic illness somehow stays in remission! I suspect it has a similar calming effect on the immune system as meditation or something, but what the hell do I know? I’m a musician, not a doctor.

It’s not always easy. The touring lifestyle is dangerous with my health problems, so we can’t do it as much as we’d like – we even had to turn down a tour of the European festival circuit once, which was heartbreaking. But with social media we’ve been able to connect with people around the world who enjoy our music! We’ve had the honor of being on multiple radio stations in the UK and Germany, and a pretty famous metal magazine referred to us as “one of America’s premiere symphonic metal bands.”

By far the most important part of it all is YOU, the listener, who makes it all matter. Everything we do, the essential other half of it all, is sharing it with people like you. The truly amazing thing about the metal community is the way we all connect – musicians and listeners are no different from each other. We all love metal just the same!

And like I said, because my health has prohibited the whole touring thing for now, this is the best way for us to connect with you. So please consider leaving a comment below this post – it would really mean a lot to hear from you about music, your thoughts on this story, or just life in general!

Here’s to many more amazing experiences along this musical journey – and here’s to hoping that you are part of that journey. If you’d like to hear the most recent milestone on that journey, click here to listen to our latest album, “Quietus of Autumn.” 

Looking forward to hearing from you!

-Kevin

114 Comments

  • It would seem that many of us in the music community have found music to be an outlet or reprieve from turbulent lives. Music has always been a passion for me, and growing up in the 80’s saw me turning to music yo get through a lot of rough patches in life. Music is still an outlet for me to this day. I was seriously injured while working in a factory in 2004, and I have had the music community to help me through a lot of the issues I have had to endure. I took my passion for music and started doing a lot more in my local music scrne, from working the door at local venues to writing for a music blog and even spending several years with an internet radio station. Needless to say, I can relate and share in the triumph of the healing power of music.

  • Michelle says:

    Thank you so much for sharing your stories, individually and as a band. I’ve just started listening to ur music and I’m liking what I’m hearing so far. It’s so amazing and beautiful when after hardships the music guides the way. It brings the best people together and always provides a strength to all involved. And those guitar riffs are sick!!!! 🤘😎🤘

    • Kevin Goetz says:

      Hey Michelle, thanks so much for taking the time to comment! I’m really glad you enjoyed this story, and of course that you enjoyed the riffs – that always means a lot!

  • Jason Gant says:

    This stuff is awesome!! I’ve always listened to the Big 4 (Slayer, Megadeth, Metallica, and Anthrax), and I totally fell in love with Nightwish the first time I heard them. So to hear someone combine those sounds like y’all have is brilliant! I think Brian Posehn said it best in his song “More Metal Than You” that when you meet another metalhead it’s like meeting a brother or sister you didn’t know. Keep it up!!!

  • Josh Somers says:

    Man… This music is so powerful! I feel it in me! Your music speaks to my soul! Fan for life!! I hope there will be more some time soon!

    • Kevin Goetz says:

      Thanks so much Josh, that really means the world to all of us. And don’t worry, we’re always creating new music – our third album hasn’t even been out for a month and we’re already starting on the fourth because we’re slightly insane.

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