Lyrics
Stillborn Reflection (2018)
The Fading Flame
Ashes and snow converging
In freezing rain, the fallen
Bare skin my moonlit canvas
Path mapped on pain and sorrow
Sinking down deep in the reverie of dreams awake
Haunted
Drinking the wine of the fantasy I seek to slake
Wanting
Deep beneath the ice burns the flame of my devotion
Just outside my grasp, all I’m reaching for
Will the flowers wilt, will the flames consume the ocean
Of the memories I so long to see return
Bearing my flesh to judgment
Behold my scars, my guidance
Four, six and one, my secret
Back to the start, the circle
Clawing my way from the shallow grave you dug for me
Hunting
Snarling lust to consume the fragments in my dreams
Wanting
Deep beneath the ice…
Hollow
Cry out, O Hollow, while knowing not why you weep
Carelessly crafting an effigy of defeat
Nothing is real, no conviction behind your words
Cover your ears, let the truth be again unheard
Bend your knees
Cuckolded and silenced
Sacrifice
Everything for nothing
Fictitious
Helplessness restrains you
Abdicate
Priviledges of burden
Here in dejection, the only sound
Your echoed voice
The mask of virtue will rot your eyes
Forever blind
You’ve imagined a monarch holding you back
Nihilism safer than hope
Drink the terror they peddle, poison yourself
Listen and believe, hate your birth
Here in dejection, the only sound
Your echoed voice
The mask of virtue will rot your eyes
Forever blind
Suckle the milk of their victimhood
Live just to serve
Your mask of virtue your only worth
The act you play
Obsidian
Martyr yourself for the cause of the day
Death is the price for a memory
Life without prospect you traded for fame
Kindling forever the flames of their hate
You are the excuse that set all of this in motion
Chose to pull the trigger with a hand that held no gun
Rising in the fire of their vitriolic justice
Oppression the new currency, the outcasts now the kings
Become the hammer, taken to ivory
Become the hammer, chipping the marble
Rise, Obsidian
Sightless, hearing only echoes
Surrender discourse, silence contention
Spreading delusion your only weapon
Rise, Obsidian
Deaf to every voice but your own
World in flames, yet you smile and laugh
Burning it down, setting fire to stone
Words met with violence and grief met with hate
Melting the chains of control and restraint
Hollow ring the cries of your revolution
Finding but an effigy you built
Become the hammer, taken to ivory…
Hold up the excuse that set all of this in motion
All that you have left to hide your vacuous deceit
Burning in the fire of your vitriolic justice
Tarnishing your currency, you’ve wasted all you had
Become the hammer, taken to ivory…
Quintessence
Who has felt the rush of bridges burning under amber skies?
Who has felt the sorrow turn to rage on a moonlit night?
All we are, the quintessence awoken
Recoking from the darkened path
Decadent in the feast of desire
Dreaming gods slumbering no more
Who has felt the touch of roses flushed mauve with coursing blood?
Can you feel regret give way to vengeance, the rising flood?
All we are…
Reverie of ghosts, in our grand fulfillment
Join in our excess and our ecstasy
Galaxies conducted in endless pirouettes
A silver star burns in darkest void
All we are…
Surrender’s Kiss
Undeserved, each tear I shed
Each drop of scorn I drink
Pride at war with giving in
Peace in surrender’s kiss
Relinquished, all of my passions
Unheard, my songs but lies
Verse nor rhyme can right this wrong
Beats of a broken heart
Word nor note can save this soul
Slumber at last
Relinquished, all of my passions
Unheard, my songs but lies
Extinguished, all of the candles
No hand will bring me home
In death I’ll bring you joy
Triumph in my defeat
Tears cried dry by the mask that I wear, not me
Nothing left but the act and the agony
Relinquished…
Pleasures of the Blade
My strength, my weapons, the sword and the flame
Tools of the trade for this war on myself
This bloody battle the fight just to feel
Numbness recede as I wake from the haze
My gifts, my purpose, the touch of my flesh
Ravage me, use me, I offer myself
I’ll slake your thirst if you just hear my song
Rising and bringing us out of the haze
Crying for but one
One moment when I’m truly living
All I need is one
One instant when I know the difference
Between pleasures of the bed and pleasures of the blade
Both seeming equal in their sweetness and seduction
Both leave me sprinting to my grave
Licentious display the price of fame
Ravenous, consuming all restraint
Crying for but one…
Primrose path I chose to follow
Witless words that shame the sharpest knives
Crying for but one…
Gravetender
Overturned the stones, a desolate portrait
Dusk-held my scenery
Autumn without color, snow without footprints
Transient memory
Roll the bones
Show me my downfall
Fading from view, mirrored eyes eclipsed by dsitance
Here I shall stay, tend the graves of my fulfillment
Overgrown the weeds, they strangle the beauty
Starving the roses
Would that I
Could be among them
Fading from view, mirrored eyes eclipsed by dsitance
Here I shall stay, tend the graves of my fulfillment
Longing to dream, there at least I have remembrance
Ageless my hearth, dead to time, alive in memory
Eve
Gaze into my grieving eyes
Come join me in my cage
Come see my canvas, my pain
The boiling blood in me
The taste of my fruit, the seal of our fates
Reaching out to her was my worst mistake
My Eve, tragedienne, forever playing victim
So sure I was I could light her way
My Eve, my triumph and my failure
Knowledge tasted by us both
And both of us condemned
Come gather, mocking my shame
My weakness and disdain
The taste of my fruit, the seal of our fates
Reaching out to her…
Rust
Come into your sacred crown
Freedom from the burden of identity
By the edge of rusted blade
Privileged disposition of an object
Tamed by force, your only comfort ripped away from you
Now they say you’re pure
Never to rebel, a perfect prize
Drowning in blood what was once so pure
Scarring over what the scissors took
Your infection a rite of passage
As you suffer, your soul is saved
By tradition they act, unthinking
Rusted blades leave you ever maimed
Culture is the shield held up to defend their crimes
Tolerance the chains keeping us from daring to condemn
Your infection a rite of passage…
“Please forgive those who held her down on cut her
Deafened by her own screams, the sound of torture”
Mother’s love shown by butchering their daughters
Mutilation the rite by which they’re baptized
Come into your sacred crown…
Your infection a rite of passage…
Stillborn Reflection
I. Blackest Pitch Reflection
Blackest pitch reflection, show your face to me
Sing to me your song, your innermost conceit
Prove me right in all my darkest thoughts at last
All the lies I saw right through, yet lost the path
Fill my cage with water, let me drown, let me sleep
Drag me to the shoreline, let me be swept away
Beaten by the rain, consumed and haunted
Deeper down I fall into my darkness
Let the world erode my will to save myself
Take my shelter, take my comfort, leave my hell
Take me, pull me under, as the waves strike my face
Hold me in surrender, the embrace of the haze
Beaten by the rain, consumed and haunted
Deeper down I fall into my darkness
One by one I mourn the wilted flowers
Fading now, the flame, from time and from mem’ry
II. Stillborn
Sleep, dear sweet stillborn
Blessed with dark unbirth, never knowing life
Be spared the sorrow
Never taste existence and never know the pain that it brings
Dreamlessly slumber
Stay in your abyss, undefiled innocence, evermore
Sleep tight where you are, dream not of what could have been
Warmest sights bring heartbreaking nightmares
Comforting abyss that you never lived to fear
Lungs that never tasted the air
May your ears be deaf to the cries of those who grieve
Sheltered in the peace of the lifeless
Darkness without end, yet no fear of its embrace
Tranquil and serene, without end
III. Rebirth
So cold the shore
Dawnless, untended
Take me away from myself
In my eyes a storm, my gaze like a blizzard
Stand in my shadow and freeze to death
I’ll take your warmth
I’ll take your passion
All I will leave – your bitterness
So hard you tried to suck out the poison, only to drink it yourself
Open my veins, I’ll bleed out my darkness, burning to ash my malice
Thawing at last, the flame reignited, guided not by scars but passion
Crucible past, my triumph, finally an end
An end
A beginning
My rebirth
The Unheard Warning (2016)
Limits of Myself
At the median of pride and charity
In my mind a storm of despondence and anguish
At the breaking point of hope and clarity
Nothing left to lose, now the lie is extinguished
Warm breath on my ear, I hear you whisper the answers
To the questions never asked as blue turns to amber
Darkening the sky I feel you call me to slumber
Calling as the sweetest ocean draws me under
My shattered hope serves now to show the way
Beholding power I had forsaken
Where every drop of blood lost is reclaimed
Burning through the limits of myself
Their cunning whispers fueled my self-deception
Tempting me to don the mask of weakness
My cage destroyed, they’ll pay me back for every word
Preached in their crusade to conquer all I am
My shattered hope serves now to show the way…
As You Fall
In this cold duality, a helix of pain
Mired in condemning comfort
Scorned, yet exalted
Bury me, hate me, spurn me, break me
Carry me, sate me, burn me, take me
Follow me, sink into my darkness
Hollowing, leaving just your carcass
Cutting your ties to morality
Beg to rise above your crimes
Sever your feet so that you won’t stand
On the ground your sins have rotted
Cursing my name, you go to your graves
Trapped inside the demon’s web
Gouge out your eyes so that you won’t see
All my ghosts that bring you to your end
Fear the shadows of my pain
The beast with you in your bed
Hear the lying voice that whispers truth
You’re already dead
Drown in frigid waters
No more shelter to run and hide
Suffer in the deepest way
Submit as you rot inside
Cutting your ties to morality…
Yadid Lilith, Shamem Almah
Lela Qedeshah, Ani Shebach
Qadash Beram, Iqqesh Nephesh
Tamim Toebah, Chabal Oyeb
Eternal Truth, victim turned immortal
Gave up your life when you crossed my path
Infernal fangs tear apart your spirit
Now we consign, as I rise, you fall
Cutting your ties to morality…
For the Blind
Every day, contempt is growing
Putrefaction of the honest mind
What’s written supersedes what’s right
Congregation of enablers
Justify your flaws and numb your shame
Wondering why all you have is pain
I call to you, Poison Blade That Wields Itself
Twelve-Winged Angel
Venom of Hell
Shells that smother holiness, impugning the lies
Slaughter their blindness
Open their eyes
It’s a choice you make to fill your life with travesty
It’s a choice you make to waste away in slavery
It’s a choice you make to wait for something that won’t come
Please just learn how to see
It’s a choice you make to fill your life with travesty…
Words and will, thought becomes creation
Set your wisdom free from its bondage
Unchain passion, release desire
Let your sorrows go
Wake from numbness
It’s a choice you make to fill your life with travesty…
The Bridges You Burn
Trespass the fortress inside of my mind
All that you care for will be left behind
This is my vengeance, my bliss and my thrall
You sought to gain, now you’re losing it all
Feed me your feeble disdain, your fear and hatred
Give me the rush of the bridges you burn
Kindle the flames with your dreams and your potential
Immolate all that you could have achieved
Erudite knowledge, the absinthe and line
Kiss of the sylph, whispered words anodyne
Blood-darkened roses flushed mauve, opiate
Tanin Steed rising and conquering fate
Feed me your feeble disdain…
Choke on the Smog
Look at the shattered glass
Gaze into the mirror
See your twisted face
Your sunken hollow eyes
The grinding of the gears
Is the only music
Your dead ears can hear
On and on you drudge
Serve your masters
Here forever
Drain your color
Feed their hunger
Choke on the smog
It sustains you
Eighth world wonder mass produced
Stand on the line
Deep in their hive
Work ’til your hands bleed black with oil
You’re a machine
Input output
Lament regrets until you rust
Slave for their dream
Claim your reward
Willingly wasting all you have
I call forth the strength of all I am
Words forgotten echo through the ether
Who are you to tell me I am damned?
My body only burns because my mind is free
Choke on the smog…
Toil at the forge, earn a cage
Plate it with gold, hide your pain
Stare through the bars at your life
Living and dying inside
Nothing conceals your decay
Your mask has rotted away
Choke on the smog…
Theurgy
I wake to another day
The cycle begins again
Can’t leave, but don’t want to stay
Trapped in my discontent
The cold gray winter sky mocks my waning smile
Is it illusion, this thing I reach to find?
The empty shells of grand design
‘Till void is substance, and what I lack is mine
What can I do but fight to remain?
I wade through another night
The fears that deny me sleep
I’ve lost every hope to fight
To someday reclaim my peace
The cold gray winter sky mocks my waning smile
Is it illusion…
Torn between motion and stagnant surrender
Languishing under the chains of this conflict
Sheltering the dying flame of my resolve
Any cost to keep alive these dim embers
All I have, all that I am, I would forfeit
All I want, all that I seek is to burn these chains away
Is it illusion…
To Be Gone
Here I stand holding in a bleeding heart
Here I stand watching vision turn to dark
How my eyes long to close, and yet
Here I stand waging war inside myself
Here I stand fighting to resign myself
All it takes is one single step
What force keeps me fighting what I’ve always wanted?
Why can’t I just let it go?
Why can’t I just let it end?
What do I keep holding onto?
Here I stand wanting only to be gone
Here I stand caring not for anyone
How I long to depart, and yet
Here I stand clinging tighter to it all
Here I stand, though I only wish to fall
All it takes is one final breath
What force keeps me…
Ardor of the Flood
Once upon a risen moon
I watched the shadows dance enthralled by its light
I let sorrow turn to rage
Familiar anger moist and sweet on my lips
Oh words, grant me release
Tears stain a map on blank pages
Diving into the core
Through the door to deepest comfort
The deluge washing away all but this
The bliss of the rain
The ardor of the flood
The passion that pours from the depths
Pure heart hardened and refined
Rising Leviathan, chaotic swell
Crawl for my lash and my hate
The opium of my favor
Diving into the core…
The Unheard Warning
Look again
And question what you’ve been told
Don’t sink in blind acceptance
Leave the cage
And cure yourself of disease
The cancer of consensus
Zarach Sitra Ahra
Mashal Samael
Ani Shebach Lilith
Yadid Qedeshah
Listen, hear the unheard warning
Learn to shed your weakness
Rescind failure
Take control and build a new creation
Test their words
Read between the broken lines
Find reflected wisdom
In the glass
Inverting what they call the truth
The serpent offers freedom
Anachnu Yaal Qliphoth
Qanah Geburah
Zarach Tanin’iver
Akal Tenuah
Listen…
Thought and will, words to creation
Bringing substance to the void
I turn sorrow to rage
Anger sweet on my lips
Once a victim, now immortal
As I rise, you sink and fall
Let me bask in the rush
Of the bridges you burn
The questions are answered as the day turns to night
The blue turns to amber as the blind reclaim sight
The mass-produced wonder burning down to the ground
The chains fall away, the fire no longer bound
Plucking the Edenfruit growing in the shadow of paradise
Where no light shines to blind my eyes
Found in night’s embrace
The key to all
Ascend
Nehemoth to Thamiel
Through every trial empowered
With every foe devoured
Claiming the throne of my own life
Here I stand alone
Bruised yet breathing
Bleeding yet alive
In pain yet whole
Sorrow turns to rage
Regret to vengeance
Learning how to love by learning to hate
Here I stand awake
Eyes unblinded
Seeing through the smog and past the shame
Letting go of all but my potential
The ardor of the flood cleansing the scars and leaving only what I am
Comprehension
I send out my cries
To the other side where sinful passion reigns
How I long to fly
Past the gates revealing holy as profane
Bring me to life
Open my eyes to the truth and the hidden wisdom
Please teach me how to hear you
Immaculate Whore
Ravaged Priestess
See how desperately I call
Lead me to the shore
Baptized in the ocean of your loving thrall
Bring me to life
Open my eyes to the truth and the hidden wisdom
Please teach me how to hear you
Consume my heart
Burn all I am, everything that I call my own
What more is left to offer?
Louder than His screams, Her laughter
At the laws that they built from His corpse
In the end they all will suffer
Never tasting the fruit of Her words:
“What benevolent creator sculpts a thing as flawed as this world?
Rules by abuse and fear?
Damnation truly is the ignorance of all the fire held deep within
The blissful flame that brands you as God
A world sculpted to hide the light within
Hopeless deception
Inverted Truth
Every commandment, enslavement of your core
The lie of scripture
The loss of self
What perfected loving father tortures all his children with death?
Exalts their martyrdom and sorrow?
Every generation prays that theirs will see the world as it burns
Such as the evil they see as good.”
Now I’ve found every answer
I’ve read this language of truth breeding lies
There’s but one true transgression
Inversion of the profane and divine
With my heart now enlightened
The sinful sacrament brings me to life
Sacrificing repression
And casting off my acceptance of hopelessness
Bring me to life…
My shattered hope serves now to show the way
Where every drop of blood lost is reclaimed
